Mars and Venus haven’t got a clue as to real differences. Try preparing one meal that both my son and daughter will eat. He’s the Esoteric Eater, and she’s The White Food Queen.
My 11-year-old son has never met an ethnic cuisine he didn’t like. When he was in kindergarten, sushi spider rolls were his favorite food. He likes all the usual foods, but he also likes foods with tentacles and suckers, what he calls “vegetables with mucus” (eggplant and okra are favorites), and anything slippery and bathed in soy sauce. He’s also a heat addict—hot sauce and dried chiles have ended up on his sandwiches.
My 13-year-old daughter distrusts spices, and never ate a vegetable without drinking copious amounts of water to choke it down (with much theatrical gasping and grimacing). For her, sauces and seasonings are taboo—foods should be pristine, should not touch each other (no casseroles for her), and are preferably white. She could happily subsist on white rice, pasta with butter, white bread and plain chicken breast.
Some nights, making a healthy dinner that both will eat feels like an episode of Iron Chef. Add to that a deep resistance on my part to cook multiple meals individually tailored to each member of the family, and it becomes all too tempting to reach for the takeout menu. Do I have the answer? No, but I do have a couple of ideas that have had some success in our family.
Get the kids involved. The University of California, San Francisco’s Children’s Hospital suggests involving children in meal preparation to make foods more familiar. If you’re rushing around trying to fix dinner, the last thing you may want to do is have a bunch of “helpers” that need supervision. But take a deep breath, then assign them specific jobs. It might take a couple of times showing them how to prepare something, but they do get the hang of it. My son is becoming an expert at making a salad, while my daughter (since she’s older) usually takes on the job of cooking up whatever starch we’ll be having (she’s a whiz at making rice), which means she can also set aside a small bowl—without sauce, of course—for herself.
Let them choose. An amazing thing happened when I told my daughter to choose a vegetable out of the freezer and prepare it for dinner—she actually tried it. Then she harassed her father into eating it, too. Does she also (miraculously, voluntarily) nosh on those vegetables? Don’t be silly. But by letting her have some control over what we eat, she seems to take a proprietary interest in how much of it was eaten. She’s even started asking if she can pick out the vegetable, and has plans for what we’ll plant in the garden next year.
Start at the store. One of the Mayo Clinic’s recommendations for working with picky eaters is to take them to the store with you to help pick out healthy foods. If you’re currently using grocery shopping as your only “me” time, this suggestion will sound painful. At the risk of limiting your alone time to an occasional solo trip to the bathroom, try to get your kids involved in at least some of your grocery trips. Think of it as a learning experience. Check out the produce aisle—if they show interest in something, pop it into the basket. Show them how to read the nutrition panel on foods. Let them pick out what you will have for dinner one night, then have them work out what ingredients they will need.
Teach your children to cook. If there is one thing I want to leave to my children, it is the ability to be able to prepare their own food. Being able to make something from scratch will give them more control over what they are eating. Studies have shown that when children are more involved in preparing meals they eat healthier, and consume more fruits, vegetables, and fiber. Not to mention that home cooking helps save money, and will provide them with a useful life skill that might even impress a few dates one day! Not comfortable in the kitchen? Try learning together. There are lots of Web sites with recipes for time-crunched cooks, recipe books dedicated to simple dishes prepared in record time, and community organizations that teach basic cooking techniques. I’m not sure which is more satisfying—the look of pride they have when you serve a meal that they have picked out and prepared, or actually watching them eat it.
—Erin Gudeux, senior project leader, sensory department
